An End Weight
by Iwantyourguts
Summary: If Elena wasn't truly compelled the night Damon confessed to her, whose arms would Elena be in? UPDATED
1. Blue Hydrangea

Today, should have just been like any other morning I'd woken up, but it wasn't. It was bright, the thick curtains that hung from the window were drawn back, allowing the growing sunrise's rays to reach out and stretch across the walls of the room like fingers, searching for something to caress. It was unbelievably quiet, the only noise I heard through the entire house was my own breathing, the birds outside would be chirping soon if they weren't already, and all creatures, human and animal alike would be stirring to start their day. I was awake, but I didn't want to climb out of the warm bed I was sleeping in, I closed my eyes and resettled myself before I felt his hand run across my naked hip and settle on my stomach, grasping my hand where it lay against me. I lay there for a minute, smiling, I knew he was awake by the now liveliness of his body and the strong beat of his pulse against my skin where he held me. I couldn't wait any longer, as I rolled over closer into his arms his startling blue gaze crept over my shoulder like the tide pulling back from some long forgotten primitive shoreline, there was so much pull in his eyes.

"Good morning, sweetheart" Damon said, taking my hand between his, kissing it gently, he hadn't fed since last night but his lips were still warm and velvety smooth.

Today, wasn't just like any other morning, because I was waking up in the arms of Damon and had been for months. I realized I had feelings for Damon a little before our Atlanta trip and it had scared me for months because I didn't know how to decipher what I felt, until the night we entered the tomb and Katherine wasn't there, it broke Damon's heart, and I think some deeply buried part of his humanity. I considered Damon a friend before I developed feelings for him, he was Stefan's brother, and my savior so many times through; when people only wanted to hurt me, Damon wanted to protect me. But I wasn't able to come to terms with what I felt because I knew I loved Stefan, I thought I was in love with him. If you're in love with someone, or you love them, how can you begin to think you love someone else? I loved Damon and Stefan in very different ways, but it was still love and I had to walk away from someone. The night Damon came to give me my necklace back, grounded every feeling I'd ever felt about him, and has kept me grounded till this day.

If I closed my eyes I could see us standing in my bedroom.

"Nice P.J.'s" Damon's voice hummed out softly through my bedroom before I noticed his presence, he was sitting on my window sill with a look I hadn't seen on his face before.

"I'm tired, Damon" I said with a sigh, knowing I sounded short and uninterested, but I couldn't help it, I had too much on my mind without adding more to it. I knew I owed it to him to listen to what he had to say, to acknowledge what he wanted because he had helped rescue me earlier in the day from Elijah, who was at the time staked to a wall, who we all thought was dead. Damon had rescued me so many times even when I didn't realize I needed saving, he had been the shoulder I leaned on without me ever asking time and time again, but he was also my friend. As he got up and walked towards me, he rolled those sultry blue eyes up to look at my face, and that's when I felt the nervousness of my feelings and his approaching closeness resonate through my stomach and down the rest of my body as if he were the one touching me. Damon stood in front of me, scrutinizing my facial expression the same way I was his, I told my body to step back, to put more distance between us but I couldn't move, I didn't want to.

When I didn't step back, Damon stepped closer, his shirt sleeves brushed my bare arms as he held out my vervain necklace, "I brought you this" he said softly, the smell of him so close to me was like wine gliding down the back of my throat.

I was glad to see it, but it wasn't for the same reason I thought I should be. I was glad that Damon had thought of me and that he had cared enough about something so small in the mist of a situation so large, to find my necklace for me. I knew that if Damon wanted to compel me he could easily break my vervain necklace and force his compulsion on me. I also knew though, with unwavering certainty that Damon would never compel me or force me to do anything.

"I thought that was gone", I said glancing at my necklace, after Elijah had pulled it from my neck and thrown it aside like it had no longer had any relevance I thought it was forever broken, and I also hadn't thought about it until now, dangling right in front of me.

Damon silently shook his head, watching my face.

I sighed, pretending to be relieved," Thank you," I said as I reached to take it from him, but he pulled it away, out of my reach.

I wasn't sure what his point of bringing my necklace back if he wasn't going to give it to me, though I had a feeling that Damon had more intentions than just returning my necklace, "Please give it back," I said, trying to sound stern when I was really just tired and overwhelmed, but more than anything, nervous. If I moved back and allowed that distance between Damon and I, he would close it, and that would make my heart want to race even more than it already was struggling not to.

"I just have to say something," Damon said, stepping forward, our bodies nearly touching shoulders to hips. I stepped back hesitantly, I didn't want to be to this close to Damon and know that I had feelings for him, it wasn't that I didn't trust myself it was that I knew if he closed that last breath space of distance, I wouldn't tell him to stop.

Damon's blue eyes pouted at me with confusion and some other emotion I couldn't place, I had seen Damon hurt, and angry, grieving but I didn't understand this vulnerability and the rawness that circled around his eyes like an ocean, if an ocean could breath, think.

"Why do you have to say it with my necklace?" I questioned him, scared of what his answer was going to be, my heart gave way to my nervousness and started thudding quickly, filling my body with adrenaline. I knew I needed to relax my body and take deep steadying breaths, but that would be too obvious with Damon standing in front of me. I didn't want Damon to know he was the reason why my heart felt like it was trying to climb through my chest.

Damon seemed unsure of how to reply at first, his blue eyes looked to the floor as if he were searching for something he couldn't see, and then he looked back up at me with intensity in his eyes that was both soft and demanding, "Because what I'm about to say is probably the most selfish thing I've ever said in my life".

I felt my heart suddenly drop through my stomach and into the floor beside my feet like I'd been punched. I knew where this conversation was going, this was going to be the defining moment for Damon and I. After this conversation, there was no turning back, no fixing anything, no denying the way I felt about him, this would be fireworks and rockets, this would be the collision.

"Damon, don't go there," I said trying to keep my breath from shaking, I would not reject him this time.

"I just have to say this once, you need to hear it," Damon said with touchable vulnerability in his eyes and voice, he stepped forward again and our bodies touched, only the long sleeves of his shirt kept my body from breaking out in Goosebumps. Damon gently held the sides of my arms " I love you, Elena and it's because I love you that I can't be selfish with you, why you can't know this" he said, staring into my eyes with a look that I thought would crush me internally and leave me for broken," I don't deserve you, but my brother does", Damon took in a deep breath that seemed painful and leaned into me, I couldn't hold the shaking in my voice anymore. I almost gasped as I looked up into his eyes, my lips burning to touch his, but his lips touched my forehead softly ,lingering.

I closed my eyes and begged myself not to cry, I had been denying Damon so long, I had rejected him, turned him down, and I had even insulted him, and now, with the truth of his emotions, he was kissing my forehead. I was upset that he hadn't kissed me, upset that he hadn't used the opportunity to show me that he loved me, upset that I wholeheartedly wanted him to kiss me and he was giving me up, because of _Stefan_.

I opened my eyes as he pulled his lips away from my forehead, I felt something wet gently splash my chest but my eyes couldn't see what my body had felt, I was in a different world, a trance that was hazy, it blurred everything together like real life in slow motion, I could only stare at his lips, willing them to press against my mouth.

Damon cupped my head gently in his hand, stroking my hair where he held it, "God, I wish you didn't have to forget this," he said, his voice held sadness, and foreshadowing that, heartbreak, his blue eyes were wide, and haunted.

I screamed at myself mentally to say something, to tell Damon I loved him too, to beg him to hold me in his arms while I cried out the weight and realization of my feelings, to tell him that he didn't have to compel me, because I didn't want to forget. Damon's compulsion wouldn't be able to make me forget, I had drunken vervain when I got home.

"But you do," I felt my eyes gloss over as his pupils contracted and the power of his compulsion beat down over me like a roaring tidal wave, I couldn't move and I couldn't tell him to stop. I had never felt Damon's compulsion before, but it felt like a door had been opened inside my body and Damon was breathing cool electric air throughout me, willing me to do what he asked. A single tear, crystalline and hot trailed down his cheek and splashed against my chest. I wanted more than I had ever wanted anything in my life to kiss the tears, and the pain away in his eyes that threatened to spill out like a cup that's been poured too closely to the rim.

I closed my eyes and felt what I'd lost, Damon.

I opened my eyes and my own tears burned as they burst and rolled down my cheeks in scalding hot waves that made me catch a breath I didn't know I was holding, I looked up at Damon to kiss him and smother my body with his, but he wasn't there.

I reached up and felt the new solidness of my vervain necklace encircling my neck like a long lost love, and the coldness of the night's wind blowing in my room as I shivered, my widow left open.

I opened my eyes and found Damon's bright blue eyes searching over my face, the sight of his blue eyes calmed down an uneasiness I didn't know had grown in me.

"What's wrong?" Damon asked gently and attentively, stroking my cheek.

"Nothing", I said, wrapping my hand around his where he held my face, I kissed his wrist softly and smiled at him, letting him see the comfort he gave me when he was around me or I was in his arms.

"That's what I like to see on your beautiful face" Damon said smiling back gently, the bright cast of sunlight surrounded and bathed his body beautifully in a golden halo, making his eyes seem bluer and wider than they were, the gentleness in his eyes I had first seen the night he returned my vervain necklace, and now, I saw it every day that he looked at me. It filled his eyes with a vulnerability he hadn't allowed himself to feel for over 145 years, it was a lost innocence that Katherine had taken from him. Katherine and Damon had been wonderfully smitten towards each other, for each other, but she fully appreciated that delicate, genuine, innocence that someone has for another person when they're in love.

I wrinkled my nose up at him with a bitten back smile and mockingly gushed at him, knowing what he would do.

Damon used his supernatural speed and rolled me on my back before I knew I had changed positions, he held every bit of his ivory muscled potential filled body off of me and smiled down at me flirtatiously, but it wasn't just flirtatious, it was teasing and full of intentions, "Are you mocking me?" Damon asked, raising his eyebrows at me, taking on that hint of cockiness he exuded so well.

"Maybe" I said, laughing as I smiled up at him, my eyes unconsciously rolled down to look at his body, right in front of me, but just out of reach. It made me feel lusty because it brought back every time he was inside of me when I looked up at him and saw him watching my body, bathing in the beauty of our bodies being inside each other. I was waiting for him to cover me with his body and tickle me, but what I wanted him to do was smother me with his kisses, his sensuality. I wanted to reach up, and stroke my hand across his body, down to his prominent hip bones where they parted in a deep V and held the most sensitive part of his body.

Damon shifted the slightest and smiled down at me mischievously, I braced myself with my arms across my chest, coming out of my day dream to cover my most ticklish spots, my sides.

"Bracing yourself so soon? And I haven't even started" Damon said," yet", he gently laid his body on mine in speed I couldn't follow and started tickling my stomach and sides in a fury, I didn't know where one touch started and another one stopped, I felt like he had more than ten fingers and was using them all on me at once, stroking his fingertips across every sensitive nerve on my body.

I laughed loudly and squirmed pointlessly underneath him, I knew and he knew that I couldn't get out from underneath his hold unless he wanted me to, "Damon!" I yelled, struggling to call his name again between laughing and breathing so quickly, and then his hands stopped moving just as suddenly as they'd started.

Damon stare down at me with warm blue eyes, smiling that touch of gentleness only love brought out of him, he rolled on his side and gently pulled me in his arms, holding me softly at the small of my back ,"I love you " Damon said kissing the top of my head, cuddling down closer into the warmth of my body.

"I love you too" I said, smiling against his skin.

Damon looked down at me contently, my body held closely to his, 'What do you want to do today?"

"Well first, I want to take a shower", I said.

"Mmm, a shower" Damon said kissing me gently, he pulled back slowly, and then he was standing to the side of bed, I would never be able to keep up with the quickness of his movements. He stood looking down at me with a smile that was arrogant, but soft, "Last one there has to give the other one foreplay for one hour, no breaks!" Damon grinned, he turned his muscled back side to me and pulled down his boxer briefs.

I was suddenly staring at the perfect roundness of his ass, he knew I would be, "Elena" Damon said, dragging each syllable in my name out, turning to face me and show me the full view of his naked body.

I looked up at Damon's face and let him see the heat held in my eyes for his body, "You're not playing fair, you're using your body as a distraction?" I said, pulling the white comforter back. I was wearing my light yellow lacey matching bra and panties, the bra which was new had a small lift to it so my breasts seemed fuller, and the panties just as equally eye candy were shaped so that they traced and cupped my body to accentuate every curve.

I climbed out of bed slowly, using my body the same way Damon had used his, I stood up and used both hands on the front of my bra to unfasten the small hook. I watched Damon's eyes while I dropped my bra drop to the floor, they were dark and fully attentive to my hands as I let them trail down to my hips, pushing my panties down slowly. I allowed my hands to linger between my legs, gently brushing my fingers against myself, showing him where I wanted his body to go, "And who is to be the winner Mr. Salvatore?"

Damon's breath came out in an uneven sigh, I raised one eyebrow at him questionably, fully submerging myself into the role of being the seductive mistress before I started laughing. I knew the effect I was having on him, on his body, it was already thick and luscious between his legs. I turned on my feet and ran as fast as I could to the shower, " It looks like your mouth and my body have a date!" I yelled.


	2. Foreboding Sense Of Impending Happiness

The title of this chapter is called "The Foreboding Sense Of Impending Happiness" , it is by the band HIM and it is off their album"Screamworks: Love In Theory and Practice". I do not own the title of this song, but I am a fiercely devoted HIM fan and thought the title of the song described the emotions and sense of happiness both Elena and Damon feel in this chapter.

I ran into the black marble bathroom and ducked quickly into the shower after I grabbed two black bath cloths from the linen closet, adjacent to the shower. I loved Damon's bathroom, it was dark, decadently dressed in black. Almost everything that the eye could see was black, with small contrasting hints of silver on the sink where the toothbrush holder was, the sinks faucets, and wide mirror that hung tastefully above the two sink counter top. It was easy to differentiate whose side of the sink was whose, Damon's side of the sink had different types of cologne, a small tube of hair gel, and a rectangle shaped silver soap dish.

In the middle of our separated sinks was my favorite piece of the bathroom, it was a beautifully framed picture of Damon and I. The picture was taken two weeks before when Damon and I had gone into the city to look for new pieces of art to put in his room. I glanced out one of the art galleries second story window and saw Caroline passing with Tyler in tow, I had stuck my head out the window to call for Caroline and wave at the two of them. Damon came to stand by me and stick his head out the window too, capturing with his gaze what I was looking at. Caroline stuck her tongue out at Damon teasingly and fell back into conversation with Tyler, they were both so genuinely enamored with each other and that made me happy for not just Caroline, but both of them. The genuine heart felt smile on Damon's face at her reaction made my chest burn with adoration, I wanted to capture the look on his face and frame it so I'd have it, always. I pulled my camera out of my purse and turned it on, tapping Damon's leather jacket clad shoulder, just as Damon turned to look at me I snapped the picture. It was my favorite picture and one of my most prized possessions, the kindness in Damon's blue eyes and softness in his smile ignited every loving emotion I had in my body and tripled it, because I knew I was in love with him

I looked to my side of the sink and stifled a laugh, my toothbrush was astonishingly pink amidst the black and silver color pattern of the bathroom. Around my sink were clustered groups of things, my hair brush, a small white ceramic tear drop shaped dish that held my bobby pins and hair scrunchies, a bottle of clear glittery nail polish, a box of tissue paper, my pink hair straightener and a glass vase that held white rocks and a growing bamboo plant. It was definitely easy to tell whose side of the sink was whose, it was so apparently obvious I couldn't stop laughing. I turned the shower knob and huddled closely under the round shower head that hung from the black marble ceiling of the shower. I closed my eyes and relaxed lavishly under the warm streams of water, the heat from the shower felt like a liquid massage to my sleepy muscles. When I opened my eyes Damon was standing in front of me, naked and full of want, watching my body under the wetness of the water.

"I win" I said, pointing out the fact that I'd beaten him to the shower, though I had a large inkling feeling that he'd purposely let me beat him so he could indulge in the taste of my body for the promised one hour long session of foreplay.

"Yes you did" Damon said stepping under the stream of water I was bathing in, closing in the space between our naked bodies. He looked down at me with a soft smile, hovering above my mouth.

"Kiss me" I said softly, staring up into his never ending ethereal blue eyes, saying with my eyes what I was asking from him. I didn't want him to kiss me because he was standing so close to me, denying me the taste of his lips, I wanted him to kiss me because his naked body brushed up against mine in a way that made my body ache overwhelmingly for the taste of him, the same desire I felt every time he touched me.

Damon placed his hands on either sides of my face and kissed me gently at first, tentatively as if he were kissing me all over again for the first time, afraid he may break me, and then it grew. His mouth fed at mine like a man dying of thirst, desperate and full need, it was passionate, deep, and sensual all at once. I wrapped my arms around his neck and rubbed my body up against the front of his, pulling his scent in around me. I gasped when I felt Damon's body grow thicker and fuller against my stomach, it was tucked in gently against my body, but I didn't want it tucked away, I wanted it inside of my body.

I trailed my hand down Damon's smooth span of stomach and between his hips, running my finger tip along the nakedness of his oblique. I watched Damon's blue eyes hesitate to close, his body throbbing just below where my hand was resting, asking in the same way with his body what I had asked for with my eyes. I sat on my knees in the shower floor in front of Damon, looking up at that long span of body, curved and contoured with muscle that was 168 years of perfect definition. I smiled up at him when he softly ran his hand through my hair and cupped my face, smiling down at me affectionately. I eagerly ran my hand up to the throbbing weight that was between his hips, I wrapped my hand around it and gently squeezed. Damon exhaled heavily and closed his eyes as I worked my way up his body like he was a maze and I was exploring every inch of him.

I kept my hand on him ,kissing his thighs and in between his hips, I licked and softly bit his oblique's from the deep curve where they began and beautifully ended. I softly sucked and bit around his hip bones, rolling my tongue across their prominent bone structure over and over again as if I were using my mouth to paint his body, this was Damon's hot spot. I knew exactly where and how to touch Damon's body, I felt his hand in my hair tighten, sending jolts of sensation to my libido. I slowly worked my hand in circles around Damon's body as if I were kneading dough in my hands, I gently squeezed while my hand worked up and down, up and down.

"Elena" Damon breathed out sharply when I ran my tongue along where my hand was working, giving me more lubrication to work with. I knew by the tone of Damon's voice that he was really enjoying himself, and that made me want to make him come even more. I raised up on both knees and held his hips with my hands, lowering my mouth down onto his body, he was wide and smooth, intimidating at first, but I had had almost half a year to conquer his body and my fear of choking while giving oral. I pushed my mouth down over him until my mouth was fully submerged over him and he had no where left to go. Damon growled out something I wasn't able to identify as a word, but more so a sound. I looked up at him as I put more pressure behind my lips in a perfect O, expecting the look I got. Damon looked down at me with the certain kind of glossy haze that was lustful and euphoric and full of promises.

"I want you" Damon said breathlessly, fighting to keep his eyes open, he leaned his head back with the rhythm I had started on his body. I was determined to work aimlessly until I found the right rhythm that would make Damon melt in my mouth. Damon gently tried to pull me from his body while he was still inside my mouth but I wasn't ready to stop kissing his body, I held his hips and pulled myself down to the point of choking. I had months of practicing this certain wonderful oral technique that kept me from losing my dinner, or breakfast, or lunch.

"Elena!" Damon gasped loudly, he was suddenly picking me off the floor and using his vampire speed to move us to the far side of the shower wall. Damon rolled his eyes up to look at me, kneeling between my legs that I didn't remember spreading. I flattened my palms above me against the cool tile wall and closed my eyes, I felt his breath between my legs, it tightened things low in my body before he'd even started.

Damon held my legs underneath the back of my thighs, as he lowered his head down to my body and used one quick flick of his tongue to make my body quiver uncontrollably with need. Damon softly laughed with his mouth hanging ever so close to my hungry body, it sent shivers up and down my body and between my legs. He wasted no time in making me wait, he put his entire mouth across my body, sucking and licking in one long kiss, first his tongue flicked over me in such quick caresses that I didn't know where one started and stopped, and then his tongue was inside of me, rolling around in a circle that reminded me of French kissing. I tried to grip the tile wall and swallow my moans, but Damon's mouth being inside me was one of the most intense things I'd ever felt. I bit my lip and wrapped my arms around Damon's neck, pulling him closer into my body, it put his tongue deeper inside me and encouraged him when I rolled my hips forward, begging him not to stop.

Damon's hand smoothly ran up my thigh and took turns with his mouth, exploring and sucking on my body, "Damon" I almost yelled, feeling that weight growing inside of me the more he touched me, "Please" I whispered down at him.

Damon rolled his blue eyes up at me and ran his tongue up along the inside of my thigh, across my hips and the expanse of my stomach, and lastly my breasts where he kissed and took time paying them needed attention. I felt the solidness of Damon's body pressing firmly against the inside of my leg, he gave his body a little push up, aligning him exactly where I wanted him to be. Damon's strong arms picked me up and held me submissively against the wall as if he were my captor and I his captive. I wrapped my legs around his waist and cuddled down onto the length of Damon's naked body. Straddling Damon's hips put me slightly above him, allowing me to gently ride his body and look into his eyes. The most intimate thing about Damon was that he had to have eye contact during sex, he had to watch my face because that was part of the connection, it was both powerful emotionally and physically. I wrapped my arms around his pale shoulders and kissed him, immersing myself in the feel of his body around me, in me, he was like gravity and I couldn't help but gravitate to him. Damon's strong hands held my face between them, my back resting against the cool tile wall of the shower, holding me in place to kiss me while his body throbbed inside of mine with a hunger that begged to be fed. Damon's heart beat wildly against the front of my chest as if it were trying to escape through the front of his body and into mine, his body trembled in my arms in a hot wave of short breaths that came out as moans.

Damon held my face between his hands and looked into my eyes lazily with the heat of lust only a man holds when he's had a woman's body or in the passion of the moment. His thick jet black hair stuck damp in pieces to his forehead from the wetness of the shower, and lay messy in others where I held his hair between my fingers. His body writhed inside of me in a pulsing ache that caught his breathe in his throat and closed his eyes with a look that resembled pain.

Damon kissed me shakily," I love you" he breathed into my lips, leaning his forehead against mine.

"I love you too" I said softly kissing his lips as I smoothed his hair back from his face, Damon kissed me back with a raw force like he wanted to climb inside my mouth and roll around every inch of me from the inside out. I locked my ankles together tightly around his hips and waited for his body to fully fill me, he lifted me from his body and slowly pushed back inside of me, as far as he could go, holding our bodies closer together than our skin would ever be able to. I felt his body suddenly submerged deeper, like his muscles rolled from head to toes and pushed farther inside me, further than anything had ever touched. It brought my breath in my throat sharply and closed my eyes from the blindness of pleasure, from feeling his body so deeply submerged inside of me. Damon's gentle kisses on my neck and collarbones left burning trails where his mouth wondered and touched me hungrily.

I opened my eyes and watched Damon's body pushing in and out of me, I struggled to pull my eyes away from the solidness of his body because the longer I watched his body move inside of me, the more intensity I felt building between my legs. Damon watched me watching him, indulging himself in what he was doing to my body and the moans he was coaxing from my mouth, he was my Cheshire cat when he wanted to be. I reached down and stroked his body in synchronization as he pushed in and out of me, giving him the same pleasure he was giving me, he moaned loudly into my mouth with his kiss, fighting the spasms of his body where I touched him. I kissed his lips fervidly, around his mouth, his jaw line, his neck, I wanted to kiss every part of him that I could reach. Damon gently slowed his hips and began a rhythm of pushing back in, slowly, but in long deep strokes that were like small paroxysms inside of my body, pleasure on the side of being too much. Damon's body was not undersized or small by any means, but it was the way he rolled his hips and body while it was inside mine that was pleasure foreshadowing pain.

Damon's hips rolled inside of me while he kissed me, even more delicately than usual," Elena" Damon breathed softly ,each time Damon picked my hips up I pushed back down, rolling my hips in unison to him pushing inside of me. It was like our bodies were dancing inside each other, each time he pushed, I pulled, pulled him deeper inside of my body so we mirrored each others bodies. I gasped loudly when Damon's body rubbed along the sweetest part of my body, he made a sound in his throat that sounded like a laugh and graciously rolled his hips up further and further, hitting that spot with each stroke.

I felt something growing low in my stomach that broke my body out in warm goose bumps, it was a thick emptiness that had been waiting to be filled, "Damon" I said in a tangled breath, feeling that warmth spreading through my stomach and down into my waist where it lingered playfully between my legs. Underneath that warmth was cold electricity that danced up and down my body like a breeze-less wind. I had felt this sensation before, I knew it was the orgasm to come. It was the long deep richness of rhythm that he was pushing in me with each touch, but it was also his own power breathing down through his body and into mine that brought me out of my skin and somewhere higher.

"I love you" I said wrapping my legs as tightly as I could around Damon's waist, pulling him down as close to me as I would ever be able to get even with him inside of me. Damon's body hesitated inside of me, as if it were gearing up for a small explosion, and then I felt my body releasing all that rich warmness that an orgasm is made of. Damon's blue eyes closed sharply and he kissed me deeply, his body coming in a shuddering shaky wave. Our bodies pulsed and throbbed and came together in unison that held him inside of my body and brought me out of my own mind. I closed my eyes to shield them from the blinding white light I was seeing in my own head as I rode out my orgasm and his, satisfied that it was my body he was giving himself over to and that he was mine. I blinked a few times before fully opening my eyes, distantly hearing the pitter patter of the shower water hitting the tile floor and our heavy breathing.

Damon's blue eyes were wide, the pupils swallowed by his orgasm and the power he had just poured into my body that was both untouchable and liquid. Whenever I had had sex with Stefan, he was very careful to hold back his vampirism, he said he didn't want to hurt me or frighten me, but I always thought there was more to it. Stefan wanted to share with me what he could never truly get back, his mortality. I understood that by refusing to embrace his vampirism especially during sex, he retained more of his humanity. A vampire's natural instinct is not to feel, because in turning you have the ability to give up your humanity. But Stefan wanted the whole "human experience" Damon had said many times before, so to refuse his true nature meant he got to bask in his human emotions.

It wasn't true.

Damon, didn't hold back because he wasn't afraid he would hurt me, and neither was I. By allowing himself to embrace his vampirism, he held his humanity closer than Stefan would ever be able to. A vampire's true weakness is their emotions, their humanity folds back on them and overwhelms them to an even greater extent than their human mind is able to rationalize. Damon had brought back his humanity full swing because of me, I awakened the coldest parts of his soul that he had closed down and guarded so closely for the last 145 years. Every time Damon said "I love you" or was inside of me I realized just how vulnerable Damon really was, all those walls he had put up to keep everyone out were shattered, he trusted with his whole heart that I wouldn't hurt him, and it was true.

He didn't have to acknowledge that he really, truly needed me, I saw it in his eyes.

The eyes are the window of the soul, his eyes are the window to his soul.

"I love you so much Elena" Damon said through his shaky breathing, struggling against the hammering of his heart as it thudded strongly against my chest with his body still inside of me, lightly throbbing. Damon closed his eyes and kissed me tenderly, pulling himself out of me slowly, savoring in the moment of his orgasm. He rested his forehead against mine and smiled adoringly, lighting up his eyes like blue hydrangeas' if they could burn.

"I love you so much too" I said running my hand along the side of his face, taking in how exposed and startling he looked from the after glow of sex. I didn't know how else to explain it other than he was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. Damon was a man, and a vampire but he was also this emotionally tragic creature.

Damon gently lifted me down, waiting for my feet to touch the shower floor before he let me stand on my own, "It's good we didn't bathe yet, you have a mess" Damon said, pointing down to my legs, where the remnants of his orgasm glided down the insides of my thighs like ice.

"You mean you made a mess?" I asked with question, laughing at his hair, it was wild and untamed, which only true good sex could do, he smiled humorously at me, placing his hands on my hips.

"Yes, I made a mess" Damon said leaning in and kissing me, pushing his body fully up against me again, I was in love with the way his love made me feel, how the closeness of sex made me feel. I wanted to touch him again, cup his body and hold it in my hand but I knew this was a rush that could continue on and on and on unless one of us kept our hands to ourselves.

"Lets clean up then" I said, pushing Damon backwards, using the hold on my hips as direction to move his body and mine. Damon stood under the shower head and let the water cascade over his body and hair in tiny drops of warmth, holding his arms out to me. I turned my back to him and let him pull me into the curve of his body, he wrapped his arms around my chest and kissed down the back of my neck softly, nestling me close, explaining to me in so few words how much I really meant to him.

"Are you cold sweetheart?" Damon asked, running his hands up and down my arms in long soothing strokes, I wasn't cold but the after glow of sex had made me sleepy.

"No, but I'm sleepy. I think you should help me bathe, it'll help keep me awake" I said turning in his arms with a smile and chaste kiss. I reached for the soft black bath cloth that I hung on the small in built towel rack, my fingertips brushed it as Damon's hand on mine stopped me.

"Let me" Damon said picking it up, he ran it under the warm shower water and rubbed the ivory scented soap across the cloth, it overflowed like a fountain of suds and bubbles. Damon delicately traced my body with the cloth, running it up and down my arms, across my shoulder blades and down my back. He knelt on his knees in front of me, kissing my stomach and hips before he trailed the bath cloth across my skin, covering me with the scent of the soap and his kisses. I lifted each leg and draped them across his shoulder, it gave him free movement to wash my legs and steady my balance. I kindly asked him for my bath cloth and finished washing up, glowering that it was my turn to wash him.

"Come here Mr. Salvatore" I teased, curling my finger towards me to motion him closer, he came obediently and kissed me, letting his hands hold my hips, not because he needed the balance, but because he could.

"Yes, my lady" Damon said courtly .

I gently scrubbed a second black bath cloth across his ivory skin, occasionally letting my finger nails graze his skin; he enjoyed it when I was a little rough. I mimicked his movements and washed his body thoroughly, shoulder to shoulder, back to chest, chest to stomach, hips to thighs and thighs to feet. I reached across my crouched stance by his feet and gently pinched his bare ass, laughing when he looked down at me with raised devious eyebrows.

"Okay, all clean" I said standing up, admiring Damon's mesmerizing water glistened body, "You look good enough to eat".

"That's what she said" Damon said mockingly with an elusively arrogant smile on his face. I had to give it to Damon, he was the only man I knew who could stand naked, covered in soap suds and still look devilishly handsome.

"Ass!" I said loudly laughing, I couldn't help but laugh at Damon's witty sarcasm and dry humor, it was one of the first things that drew me to him. That and the eye thing he did when he was flirting, it didn't sweep me off my feet, it made me melt to the floor. I wrapped my arms around his waist and cuddled into his warmth of his body, laying my head against his chest, not caring if I got covered in soap suds again. It was the smallest things that made me realize how much I loved him and valued him, not for the person he wanted to be, but for the person he was.

Damon wrapped his arms around me and kissed the side of my face, "Lets finish showering and cuddle" he said enthusiastically into my ear.

"Deal" I said.

Ending note: The picture I'm describing is a picture of Paul Wesley, Ian Somerhalder, and Nina Dobrev looking out of their London hotel window. If you need a reference to this photo let me know!

:)


End file.
